The Dialog with Myself

I've already written that what I want to change in myself. Surely it's not easily to change myself (at least for me). And I think that to put off bad habit may I need to have split personality in some way. And one of that personalities must say "That is bad, don't do it" when it is needed. May be this should be something like fight between good and evil, though I'm not sured that someone in me is really good or evil. May be both of them should help each other. There must be a dialog inside of person, dialog with himself. But how to speak with myself? The most obvious way for is to have to "Me's". May be this a psycho disease? But to learn on fault your need to have someone who will point on them, and nobody as you can now what you do and why you do.

What I Don't Like in Myself

There are some thing that I do not like in myself. Often I'm not tolerant to others in relations with other people. I sometimes behave too angry towards people around me. And moreover I'm took weak physically, especially in strength of arms.

What do I do to surpass these problems of my nature? Firstly, to become stronger I try to do everyday exercise with weights. And I think that gave me some positive result in strength of arms. However I have some problems with strength of will in aspect of physical exercises : in fact I don't do them everyday but usually one time in two or three days. That's not good. And I still continue to make them regularly everyday. Now that's not a problem of physical strength but of strength of will above laziness.

Furthermore how do I improve my tolerance to others? That's far more difficult question than just physical strength. I think the reason for angriness toward others is in some way linked to my warlike character and to that I think there are some traits in people which couldn't be tolerated. About this I'll try to write in future. And now I have to say, that I try, really try to tolerate other people while they act in way I do not like. Sometimes I say them, that I don't like what they do, and wait whether my word will have any effect. And I keep waiting for good changes. But sometimes... behavior of one goes beyond borders which as I think are acceptable.
Or I'm just tired of them and can't keep dam of my patience. So then comes something that is like affect: I'm very-very-very angry and behave in a way I don't like after that.

So what to do? I think, just try to understand others imperfection, accept them as they are (but may be not accept their bad traits?). It is better to have a war with own bad traits than with others', it is easier to make better yourself, than the others, but others sometimes need help to become better.

My reason for blogging

Why I blog? There are some reasons, but they are connected with each over:

• Develop my skills in English language — many people think I'm rather good in English, but I think there is enough space for me to develop in this direction. May be my friend think that I'm good at English but this comes mush more from that they know it worse than me, not from that I'm good.
  
• Develop my speech writing capabilities. This is close to previous but it isn't connected to particular language. This is ability to shape idea into clear explanation. And the language is a tool to express it to others.
• Develop my mind. When I write about something I think about it. And what is more I watch this from different angles and have different points of view on it. As a result my brain works and moreover I could make my opinion about something having different points of view as a base. Overall blogging trains my brain so it will give ideas. And this links to previous reason: these ideas needs to be shaped into explanation.
• Specially for programming blog: by blogging I share my knowledge (if anybody is interested in it), that will help myself not to forget results of my programming experiments and of course as in previous reason while wring post I analyze topic and shape my opinion and develop me programming mind.

All in all: blogging is an output produced my my mind by analyzing input from books and my experience.

[Update] Well, as you see sharing knowledge isn't my goal. But I think that is a very good use of blogs. So in future I think I'll add this to my reasons. Probably after I'll train myself in English :-)

What I've done and haven't done

Firstly, I had written this post to my software blog, but then I've decided that it isn't software-specific and should be posted here. However I'm too lazy to revise it and remove "programmisms" from beginning part.

It is useful sometimes to take a pause and look at what you wanted to make some time ago, what you have done, what you are doing, what's the progress on it and what you want to do.

What I've wanted and what's the result?

• I've wanted to pass all these labs in different subjects. Success.
• Successfully finish study at courses of databases. Success.
• Daily read news from internet. Successful in whole, thought I've sacrificed some news-feeds because it is too hard to read 'em all. Success (may be not full, not sure)
• Regularly write to my blog (now I have two blogs). Not very good results: I don't write much to them. Thought I haven't dropped and forgotten them, so Partial Success.
• I've wanted to read a lot of books. From those in list I've read only "Code Complete". But I've read two another books: about C# and "Pragmatic programmer" (Aahh, I haven't written about that! Need to fix that in near future!). And now I'm reading "Design Patterns". And I really want to read any book about UML. Result: All in all I think that's a success, however not following first plan.
• Write some software to practice. During summer I worked on Egnoly text editor. And now I continue to work with .NET Framework, have some projects in mind and write some code for libraries on C#. Success, not 100% but about 90%... :) Or I'm not objective and too love myself??? May be...
• I still haven't got a girlfriend. It isn't programming of course but has an effect on mind and mental condition.
• I still have got chaos on shelves I don't use regularly. Terrible, but there is a relative order on my desk :)
• I haven't made my programming language. May be I'm too young for that. But this idea still in my head and don't want to go away, instead it becomes stronger and stronger after reading Pragmatic Programmer.
• I wanted to use Test-Driven Development, nut still don't use it actively. However I regularly try to write tests for my applications. And they give the result! So I think that's a matter of time. May be I'll not become a TDD programmer, but the one who actively and properly uses tests. Result: 40% of Success.
• I've taught myself to actively use scheduling. Now I use not a calendar but a Todoist and I often don't follow it but I've already have a place where my wishes and plans on this day are written.
  
• Something more that a achieved and haven't achieved. Couldn't remember all of them.

What I'm doing by now?

• Studying
• Writing some soft on C#, not very useful, but some practice
• Also reading Design Patterns: useful book, sure I'll write review about it!
• Participating in open source project Battle for Wesnoth as a translator.
  

What I want?

• Make such list and judgement of results rather regular.
• Follow schedule that I'm making for myself. And make this schedule more wisely and realistic!
• Develop my relations with human beings :). I don't want to communicate only with computers.
  
• Still want to make scripting programming language.
• Write software on C#: develop Egnoly, common stuff for .NET, and something new, i.e. tool to synchronise my desktop PC and laptop.
• Study well in university.
• Continue and develop my participation in OSS projects. May soon I'll be able to contribute to Wesnoth as a programmer? Or contribute to another project either as a programmer or translator.
• Start project with my fellows. There is no concrete plans on it, now it's a long-distance target.

And again: I want to make this list more clear. At least more clear for me :) And update it regularly.

[Update] Add target to communicate more with people. Just forgot about it :(.

Some major tasks for close period finished

During last week I've spent much time visiting hospital and passing some physical examinations. It took rather a lot of time especially because of long distance between my home and hospital.

During last weekend I've made a lot of study work and for now has lesser major tasks to do. I've done functionality of my coursework on programming and now need to make program look good and make report for it.

Coursework is one of big projects that lasts more than a few days. What other big projects do I have? At first it is reading books. Now I'm reading "Design Patterns" about programming. My programming projects got some attention on last week but on this week they have lacked it. Hope I'll correct this in next days.

Eh... No any ideas more for now, I'm going to sleep... I've slept rather a small time during last days.

Pareto principle

Pareto principle is a well-known rule of effectiveness. It also called 80-20 rule. In brief: you get 80% of result from 20% of effort.

It means that to get good result you don't need to work very hard. Just work and do only necessary things. To use computer you don't need to know details of its construction, you only need to know it's user manual. Of course knowledge of it's CPU specifications can make you a better user but in most cases it is spare. You need much lesser time to get most important knowledge than to become an expert. And the use of Pareto principle is that you don't need to be an expert in most cases. But what is also very useful: you can get a lot by little effort. So even if you read a small book about unknown theme you can get rather much knowledge.

Of course that don't mean that you needn't to be an expert at all. I think to be successful you need to be an expert in something. For example in getting much knowledge without great efforts... Or, what is much better, be an expert in living your life.

Again and again: where is time?

So I've recently written that I have a lot of work and now I've realized that now I couldn't find time for my own activities, i.e. programming. I was constantly working during this week and made a lot of work, but it all was about university. And next week doesn't promise to be different. What to do? How to make all university staff and made something for yourself? Again I meet this problem. Of course "myself" isn't only programming, it is also other thing but this is the first about which I think. Tomorrow I will visit big book market with my friend. It is better than sitting at home all day.


What to do?

• Firstly, now I'm actively using Todoist to manage my tasks and time arrangement. I still couldn't use calendars or organizers but I found a good use for that simple webapp.
• On next week I'll try to find time to do something that is not-university. Surely it will be some programming (and what you awaited from me? :).
• May be found some non-computer activity? Or at least non-programming? I couldn't guess what it can be.

And also about my current activities: some of my time is spent on working with book for one of our professors. He has a book about his subject but it exists only in one instance. So I've scanned it and now make text recognition. Rather dull work because my OCR is rather simple (but free).

And idea of a day: Do something meaningful :)

Writing a book

That could sound weirdly, but I started to write a book. I was writing only for one evening, so I couldn't even say if I will be writing it regularly or it's just a short-time activity. The book isn't about computers, it a fiction book in fantasy genre. I even couldn't understand about what is it. I can only say that it is about 3 friends :)

Butterflies

There is a popular story about ugly duck who became a swan. There is also a popular example of such transformations: caterpillars become butterflies. What most of us think about caterpillars? They are ugly and nasty. I hate them. Especially when they are on my fruits... :( Some caterpillars become insects which are also nasty, but some caterpillars become beautiful butterflies. Don't you think we can say the same about people? Some become "butterflies" (good people?), some become disgusting bugs (bad people?), and others, probably most of people, become other insects, for example hard-working people can be compared with bees...

What's the morale? When you look at a young person look at what she "eats": that's will be a building material for her mind and personality during period of cocoon. If she eats mostly not good building material (rudeness, abuse language, violence, and lack of culture, etc.) then we will get another "bad brick" in our society. If she fills herself with something good (mind training, some books that may be are idealistic but shape mind in a way useful for society, etc) then we will get "good brick" in society. Or not the brick but mason?..

Choises

There are choices. They are all around us. We are making choices every day (click here). And one decision could be better that others. But why we usually choose one that's not better?

And may be we have only one choice... The choice to accept or not, that was chosen for as.

And sometimes we couldn't follow our choice.

Attack problems

The best way to defend is to attack — common aphorism that we often hear. But what is in it? "Those who need to be on the alert everywhere has a little strength, those who make another to be on the alert everywhere has a lot of strength". That is from Sun Tzu "The Art of War". Recently I watched another part of "Samurai Jack". Main hero ran away from big monster, who shouted at him with strong laser beam. The only thing that Jack was able to do was to run. He even hadn't chance to watch what is happening behind his back. So he couldn't fight or even defend in any way.

Of course Jack found a way to defeat his enemy. But what is in real life? Could anyone be as a main hero of cartoon film? I think no. Sometimes situation is very bad and beats come from many sides and it is even impossible to solve the situation. And the best way top solve problem is to avoid it. Or solve it in its beginning when it is weak. So the problem is a red flag to attack, to attack it. Of course that not mean that you must go forward your problem with naked sword, this can lead more damage than usual waiting for bad news.

First thing to do is to dig problem, understand and classify it. It is also useful to make a formal description of the problem. On this stage it is needed to understand with what fight will be, what will be a condition of win and even is there a necessity of fight.

After that plan to defeat problem can be created. To be formal, plan is a sequence of actions that will lead to the win condition. It is very useful to study solutions for similar problems happened in past. In general, I have to say, studying history is a good practice, that helps to prevent mistakes of predecessors.

And then comes the most interesting part: attack problem with your plan. Defeat it. Celebrate victory...

...and don't forget that problems and enemies doesn't sleep.

And don't wait when your problems will defeat you.

Black and white

There is always white and black stripes in our life. I think my black suit and shoes are the black stripes. So everything other should be white stripe. :)

Accidental thoughts...

1. Why I have a feeling that something is on the wrong place in my life?
2. I usually live with words "I'm on the way of war" in my mind. Sometimes this phrase is shaded by others by it always back to me. Now is the time when it backs.
   
3. Is there any link between first and second?
4. "On the way of war" — I think soon I'll write a post about this.
   

Big targets and small details

On the last week I saw a part from cartoon film series "Samurai Jack". In that part main hero lost his shoes. He wanted to punish bad guys who broke his shoes but couldn't because he felt uncomfortable without his wooden sandals. He tried different contemporary shoes but he didn't felt good in them and couldn't beat enemies. After all he found a man who made him new pair pf sandals. After that hero beat his enemies.

I think there is a couple of themes to discuss that can be extracted from this film, but I want to mention only one: the importance of small details. No, I don't want to say that big picture is useless and we should concentrate on small details, but inattention to such a small piece of stuff like shoes could break any great plan!

So what to do? How to organize small routines with big plans? How to make them fit together?

As a programmer I could give only one advise: divide and conquer. What's your shoes? It's your equipment as pen, suit and computer. It's not your target activity. You pay attention to your equipment not because they exist, but because they are mean to your target. If your main target is to have pretty shoes and the most advanced computer in the world it's not very good as I think. Main target should produce something or it should be cast out. For what to do something without using it's production?

So in fact only main targets and productive activities make sense. But they are made of smaller pieces which also could be divided on parts. So then you state new task your should understand that "write new computer application" is not a something that make a computer application. It's a bundle for activities that make something, what form new a computer application. You shoes couldn't make a computer application? but they allow you to go on the street without problems and make computer application instead of healing your legs. So is with many different things in your life. That's a stuff that is made on "auto-pilot", without deep thoughts on it meaning. But if over-focus your attention on drawing "great plans" you could fail because of small detail, that you have forgotten...

Forgive my strange linguistic construction and lack of relation between phrases... Just my thoughts...

Finding time for all you need

The result of my ideas, which I have written in last posts: don't put all perspective projects on shelf, try do do them. So I started to read new book try to make my own software project. So I need to split my time between studying, self education, reading news, implementing some software projects and of course... living an interesting life! Not an easy task, I need to properly set priorities and to find useful activities, which should be dumped.

Recently I finished work on lab #3 on programming. It was big: about 45 pages. So what will be in future labs??

Moreover I've started to read "Code complete" by Steve McConnel. Hope this book will help me improve my coding skills.

Moreover I periodically think about my own software project. There were some ideas like on-line RSS reader. However it needs from me to know how to interact with databases. So now this project is going on the shelf but I've decided to restart studying of PERL and get another attempt to learn MySQL. After I learn to use them in one system I will try to make something like RSS reader.

But now I have in mind another big project — my own programming language!!! Sounds like a buzz.... And now it is really only a buzz. But I think in next few days I will start little steps on road of developing this project. I should start with an mission, aims and roadmap. I will implement project on C++ of course. I don't have a name for the project, to be honest I don't sure I will make something interesting, so now I will call this like P1. Good codename, don't you think so? :-)

Parallel tasking

In the last post I said that the one should do what he want now without postponing his wish to the future. But what what to do if you have a lot of wishes and passions? I.e. I want to read a lot of books. Should I read all these books simultaneously? Of course not, but putting all tasks in one queue will set me in situation, when I want something, but haven't enough time or resources to do that. So, I think, what I should do is to divide my wishes and passions into groups and form several queues. Items from one queue are performed simultaneously, while queue itself are performed in parallel mode.

Not difficult idea, it was formed long times ago... But I in someway walk through this way of organizational principles and getting them for me and trying to use them.

All in all unless you are child it's you who are shaping your mind. It's you who decide what to read, what to do, who to respond on this new knowledge, how to use it.

What came from last week?

Good news: I passed 2nd lab on programming, created a program for 3rd lab, and now working on report for it. Another series of nights with a small amount of slumber :-(. Moreover I passed 4th lab on engineering graphics.

Furthermore I have one history for you: one of my friends reads book. Some time ago I asked her about that book, its author and content. She answered that she is only in the middle of book. After that I asked when she will finish reading. She answered that now she has a little time, so will read it during her spring holidays. So holidays came and on Wednesday I again asked about book, but she still hasn't continued to read :-(. Now scholar holidays are coming to the end, and I again will give her my question. Interestingly what will be the answer?

While we live we always have some passions and often we say that "we haven't enough time but then we will have holidays or finish some important work and will have free time to realize our passion". But time is flowing, and we still haven't enough time because some other duties are coming to us... And as a result our passion becomes a dream that will be never executed.

And now I'm publishing a diagram with some my passions. It's rather rough by now, but it may be publishing it will give me impulse to make clearer? Hope in this. The higher is branch on diagram the more it is long-term. And in the bottom you can find some short-term activities: i.e. laboratory works.

Information society

Recently I've read CNET article Lickder's vision of the Digital Age. It is about J.C.R. Licklider, who in 1960 in his essay "Man-Computer Symbiosis" predicted many trends of integration computer systems in our life. I haven't read this essay yet, but want to say some words about symbiosis between people and computers. It will be interesting to find what my opinion will be after reading essay :-)

Computers are intrinsic part of our life. Banality but true. All people in developed countries depend on computers. Computers help us to manage such important for our civilization structures as electricity, telecommunication, transportation and many others. Computers have changed the way of life in civilization, and as a result they have changed people. It is Net Generation people, who grew up in time of raising information exchange, ability to easy communicate with people all other the world, collaborate with them, constantly being online with your friends. Net Generation is much more apt to share useful information by wikis, publish thought by blogs and much more. Though most of these people prefer to communicate by Internet, not by real meeting.

Net generation, as I think, is a beginning of Information Society (IS). Information is not a hard good, it can be easily moved from one point to another and cloned for no price, etc. The one in IS is receiving tons of information, but only small bits of it are useful for him. As a result she needs to read information quickly and find there which she needs and truncate all other. What is more desired is the skill not simply truncate useless information, but if in future comes situation, where it is useful rapidly extract from the memory that you have seen something on this theme and can find it in archive.

However, you can say that that skill have been desired for all people who work with big amounts of data, even those who lived in Ancient times. And your are right. Though, my opinion is that in IS this skill plays a vital role in success. In the past you have to have great experience to make something difficult. While great experience is still highly valuable, you can find in Internet a great amount of information about your problem and what is more advices of professionals. So you can avoid many mistakes of your predecessors. Knowledge itself in IS isn't a private information available only for limited amount of people. While some information of course is kept in a secret, in general you can easily find in Internet almost all you need. And what is more, you can easily exchange your ideas and discoverings with others, taking part in growth of Database of Knowledge.

So the main point in IS will be the ability to share ideas, thought, information and other intellectual goods, providing others the ability to modify them, make them better. A group of people works better than single, but in IS you don't have search for people who will help you. They find information by themself, analyze it, use it, modify it, tell about if to others and much more...

Are you in Information Society? Are you sharing and developing your knowledge with others? If not, don't you think it's a good time to start make one more useful thing in a life, and help others by you knowledge?

Two articles

I've read some articles on being proactive person:

• Get out of the information technology reactionary rut

• Strategic thinking is the key to proactive management

And the idea I get from one of this is that may be useful for my struggle with time arrangement. It is that for success you should have strategic thinking. It includes that long-term duties are more important than daily routine, so it will be good for me to spend some time actively working on my time-table. It is hard to live by the time-table for me, but I think it is possible, this the question of time and habit. So may be today I'll try to make something with my affairs?

Ha, this is question for me, not to others, but... Do you try to have a plan of your affairs? No, I don't mean full time-table for every minute, but a list of main goals and deadlines for them? I still haven't... But may be this is a good time to make it for me? And may be it is good time for you, if you also don't have it?

Know what you want, and when you want it to be done. I think it's a good phrase.

Idea!

Hey! I've got an idea! I'll try to count how much time I spend on labs for programming :-) It's rather interesting to find how much time does it take and moreover may be it will help me to arrange time. ;-)

try {
countTimeSpentForWork();
} // end try
catch( couldntPerformThisTask &exception ) {
std::cout << "Bad boy!" << face="arial">:-)